Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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