How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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