break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
