You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
