Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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