If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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