I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize