oh god the rape fog is back!
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
