her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
