I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
