I hope mine doesn't look like that
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
