Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
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I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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