we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
