and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
