69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
In other news, I just burned my penis
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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