I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
