I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
