so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just found a bag of teeth...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
