she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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