It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
