I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
bring money and cleavage
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
