How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
