Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
