someone get that fucking seahorse.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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