Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
