there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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