honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
