My underwear smells like fireworks.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
