Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize