I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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