Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize