i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you would pick up someone in the library
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
