the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He better not be in your backpack
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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