chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize