never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Your penis caused this!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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