Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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