BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
