Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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