I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
