I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
