Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Green mimosas i think yes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Can I color on your dick again?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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