You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
