I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
