I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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