You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
