we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
