Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
