He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
