I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
