So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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