i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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