After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
