And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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