im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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