ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
