I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize