I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
