spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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