never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize