I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
