Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
